11 Years Old Is To Young... Or Was It To Old?

You know, for someone who has a kid of his own, he REALLY sucks at being a parent. I guess it's easier when their younger, aye? We used to be such a "happy" family, as happy as it gets with a step-parent. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are as many good step-parents as there are bad. But in my experience, bad is what I.... we..., my mom and I, got saddled with.

Before this jerk, *ahem* excuse me, Lloyd, my mom and I were doing perfectly fine. As a single mother she did her best for me, making sure I had what was needed, and most of what I wanted. My heart goes out to all the single parents, it's hard work, especially with all those jerk guys making it a million times worse.

I was 11 when my mom met Lloyd on an online dating site. Well after a few months of them dating, I met my potential step-sister, Kim. I remember it like it was yesterday. We met mid-afternoon at the nearby McDonald's. Right away we hit it off, within 15 minutes we were laughing and playing like we had been life long friends, even though there was quite an age difference. I being 11 and her being 6.

We climbed all over the play place screaming and laughing while our parents talked. We were sad when we had to part for the night. Shortly after, they moved in with us. I didn't see much of Kim though. Her mother had her most of the time, we saw her every other weekend.

I was away for the weekend at my grandmother's place when my grandma, Carol, got a call. It was for me.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Lacee?" I heard Lloyd's voice on the other end.
"Yes." I just stood in my grandma's sewing room, looking out the window at the court yard.
"I have a question, and I want your opinion." I could tell he was alone, that my mother wasn't with him.
I waited for the question.
"I am going to ask your mother to marry me tonight, is that okay?" He asked.
I paused for a second, my heart raced, I was excited! "Yes! ASK ASK ASK!!!" I screamed, smiling.
He said thank you then hung up. I waited by the phone all night waiting for mom to call me and tell me what happened. It's very hard to act surprised when your only 11 years old. Haha.

September 22 they were married. In a court room no less. Then I was sad that mom hadn't had a big, elegant wedding, but knowing then, what I know now, I was quite glad that they hadn't. Waste of money.

Life went on. As time progressed he didn't want to eat my mothers cooking, so we ate out a lot. I gained quite a bit of weight (about 100 pounds). Not just from eating that shit we ate, but from all the arguing, every time I turned around, my parents were arguing. Usually about me. Lloyd thought I was to old to be watching cartoons, and that I should be watching MTV like normal teenagers. I was always doing SOMETHING wrong, didn't matter what it was. He was appalled at how my mother let me treat her the way I did. And yes, I argued with my mother quite a lot, most teenagers resent their mothers, its a phase. And yes, I have a temper. And yes, I'm very stubborn. I never physically harmed her, or anyone for that matter, I was a good child, but to him, I was someone that he had to fight for my mother's attention, and Kim's attention.

You know, looking back, I really was a pretty good child. I didn't drink, I didn't do drugs, I didn't bring home a new guy every week. I may have a sick mind, much like that of a teenage boy, but that is the size of it.

He came into our house, not to be happy with my mother, but to judge every little thing I did. He couldn't let himself be happy, oh no, and if he couldn't be happy, no one could. Just because I wasn't his own child, I was the scum of the Earth. My mom used to be mad that I didn't just let his little side comments slide. Nope. I was not going to let him treat me like I was nothing. He cussed at me, you bet I cussed back twice as bad. He yelled, I yelled twice as loud. I am not nothing. I am a human being with just as many feelings as any other human being out there!

The next time anyone ever tells you that you are worthless, do not believe that. Do not let someone tell you that you are a waste of oxygen on this planet, a waste of space. Everyone is here for a reason, and if someone tells you otherwise, just ignore it. They aren't worth the trouble, and I'm willing to bet they aren't people you want to have around in your life.

Everyone is someone.